By Joshua Kapika
Just the other day I was contemplating about my life, my ministry and all the things I do, and the biggest question I ask myself, "do I make a difference?" I ask this question a lot because I work with youth and young adults, and as a youth and young adult minister, the only thing on my mind is "am I making a difference?" In that moment of contemplation, I am reminded of the times when I was reassured by God that I am on task and completing my mission.
As a catechist, I spend a lot of time racking my brain and beating myself thinking, "Did they get it? Did they understand it? Did anything I say or do make a difference in their lives?" Because as a catechist all you want to do is bring your students closer to God. One day I encouraged my students to go and pray before Mass. Most of them went and sat the back of the church and kept quiet, but one student’s actions moved me.
She entered the church, went straight to the first pew, knelt down, and began to pray a deep contemplative, silent prayer that could be felt in her simple actions. I knew Jesus was there using my student to show me that I am reaching them, that I am making a difference, and I am building disciples even if it is one at a time.
The most profound moment happened just the other night at Faith Sharing when we read the Gospel. One thing that stood out to me was the passage, "you have received your reward," and I dwelt on it. Then the unexpected happened. I never knew how much of an effect I have on people. I continually ask God how do people see me? Am I really making a difference in people’s lives? And he came back that night with about 20 different answers all from the people I love, my brothers and sisters in Christ my second family, my YAMily.
God knows me better than I know myself, and we both know I’ll probably never stop asking myself if I’m making a difference. But I know that in the small things that Jesus places in my path and through the many people in my life that I am making a difference, and I am touching the hearts of many people.